of the tail-less
i remembered stories
to be one of them
how, to be one of them
it’s a scaley sort of loneliness
flick tongue with no shadow and i’m
hiding out shivering
out counting, counted
of the way
that caves crave in and
cavernous caves creating
a creature i crawl
in to
scarcely, two julys ago
see, i scurried across talus slapping
this technicolor tail, traipsing
sun - warm ant - fed
that tail it
propelled me it
floated me swimming in the flash snow
melted to make immunity it
whipped me
Oh no oh no and i’m hit
a glance in
the stillness of that dishonest pond
urged to me
go look go see see
it your tail
toss a pebble to the water
oh no and it’s there
my tail it
it whips me ? oh it
whips me
so long it
pokes my eyes
so long it
slows me useless
So long,
my tail goodbye
the danger ! it
chases each flatten
of grass blades cannot
bear it
so long
get it off get it off
slice clean , right along the bone
sun light
I am light
turn back check my tail
sits there
a new boulder glacial to the canopy
for millennia, veined
suffocated to salty sandstone
my tail ! reject it—
tail bone tender, bruising
Brittle taps break my
claws scurry sluggish
my newfound silver slivers of slight
render me shining
shiver me small
saying i am
wanted saying i am worrisome
tail less, to be one of them
a petrified state, flakey stone stumps
a flame to reverse it
to regenerate
we have to want to burn
and i don’t i don’t
saying i am missing, a tail
care about me, in the absence ?
care that i refuse abundance
i don’t no tail
scuttle in puny pockets
lay me out to dry, july
shake me
shrink smaller
still, dehydrated drains
my tail, my boulder
my burden, i go back
check up, still there ?
how to be one of them, still there ?
there are stories that
tails grow back ,
if i burn , just enough
if i learn to swim , float again
i don’t remember what it
was to be warm, all by myself
to want, so long
then to have so long
little tail, the cautious cave
little tail oh no, little tail get it
off, no, no out the shivers
my sun, wildfire
say i
am cared
and i
cave
Eve Girzadas (she/her) is a graduate of Barnard College (Environmental Science & Sustainability). She is from California and her favorite tree is the Jeffrey pine. She can be found on Instagram @evegirz.
