This piece was originally published in Quarto’s 2020 Spring Print Edition.
Illustration by Mitali Khanna Sharma
Trigger Warning: mental illness, depression
Diagnostic Criteria
A. Wherever there is soil, plants grow and produce their kind
a. All plants are interesting
B. When a person makes a choice as to what plants he shall grow in any given place, he becomes a farmer
a. If the conditions are such that he cannot make a choice, he may adopt the plants that grow there by nature
b. By making the most of them he may still be a gardener or a farmer in some degree
C. If there is not a foot of land, there are porches or windows
Note: Every family, therefore, may have a garden
Diagnostic Features
The criterion symptoms for major depressive disorder must be present nearly every day. Must be present as you let the soil from your window boxes sit under your nails, present as you let the small shovel fall and your fingers graze the window sill, must be as the cars on Ocean Avenue pass by without seeing into the small apartment.
The diagnosis depends on the 2-year duration, which distinguishes it from episodes of depression that do not last 2 years. 2 years after the first hospital visit, when you graft fragments: back, hips, arm to hold, mind to body. 2 years after pulling together, 2 years after and after and after when you are back in the garden.
Factors predictive of poorer long-term outcome include higher levels of neuroticism (perhaps triggered when your son breaks down his sister's bike and paints it yellow, then is unable to put it back together again. Perhaps increased when your husband dies.), greater symptom severity, poorer global functioning (Hayden and Klein 2001; Rhebergen et al. 2009; Wells et al. 1992), and presence of anxiety disorders or conduct disorder (Ochshorn, 2002).1
1 Some language from L.H. Bailey's Manual of gardening: A practical guide to the making of home grounds and the growing of flowers, fruits, and vegetables for home use and Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition.
Sarah (she/hers) is a poet from Brooklyn, NY. She's a senior at Barnard, majoring in English with a concentration in Creative Writing and a minor in Women’s, Gender, and Sexuality Studies. Writing poetry has always been a part of her life, and she's loved getting to nurture and expand her craft while at Barnard. When Sarah is not writing, she loves to dance, play bananagrams with friends and family, and brush up on her embroidery skills.