Day 4 Winner of Quarto’s 2023 Thunderdome Flash Fiction Contest. View the prompt here
Illustration by Watson Frank
The restaurant has low ceilings. It is too warm to be pleasant. He is annoyed because the waiter is ignoring them. She might be annoyed too, but he’s not sure. Her face is hard to read. It ripples like a slo-mo video of a flag in high winds, which is fine except that he thinks it might mean he’s a misogynist. He doesn’t believe he is but her face looks like that and her body looks like that so he’s giving it thought.
But then it’s hardly his fault. He wasn’t expecting her. When they’d first met his penis was limp in his hand and his phone was balanced on the caps of his knees. He’d said who are you. She’d said he’d thought her up, like Athena. He thought he’d have imagined someone shorter and prettier if that were the case but her breasts were pale and very large so he swallowed his complaints. He’d said right then what do you want to do and had leaned back a bit and then she’d been quiet. He’d been surprised and a little upset when she suggested dinner.
He wanted to seem a gentleman though, so he took her out. He gave her a hoodie and sweatpants to cover herself with but the proportions looked wrong. Her thighs were cold in the Uber. He wasn’t sure where her mouth was so he kissed her neck instead.
Finally, the waiter comes over. For you ma’am? he asks. She’ll have the oysters, he says, and nudges her foot a little. I’ll have the steak, rare. Certainly sir, says the waiter, not looking at him. After he’s gone she leans over and asks to use the bathroom. He kisses her cheek(?) and says yes. The steak has gone cold by the time he understands.